Please adopt me, Bill Donohue
The Catholic League has started an “Adopt An Atheist” campaign.
Bill Donohue explains:
[Let] them know of your interest in “adopting” one of them. All it takes is an e-mail. Let them know of your sincere interest in working with them to uncover their inner self. They may be resistant at first, but eventually they may come to understand that they were Christian all along.
If we hurry, these closeted Christians can celebrate Christmas like the rest of us. As an added bonus, they will no longer be looked upon as people who “believe in nothing, stand for nothing and are good for nothing.”
I hope that Donohue will consider adopting me as his personal atheist. Fingers crossed, you guys!: